Why Do We Say "Good Job" When Kids Eat?
This is going to offend a lot of people.
But I just don't get this, and I am of the opinion praising kids for eating is actually what makes them picky. That, and too many choices. Here's your food, kiddo, we're privileged enough we get to eat this. Let's be thankful and enjoy it, no?
I just don't understand congratulating kids on something that comes naturally. Aren't we sending them the message that what they just did was difficult? If we're hungry, we eat. So let them. We don't need to make a big deal when they eat vegetables. They should be eating vegetables. Their bodies want the nutrients. If we make a big deal out of it, doesn't that make them think, wait a minute, you mean I don't have to do this? If we feel the need to pipe in, why not just say, "It's good, isn't it?" or "I love broccoli!"
Can you imagine if we had people hovering over our own shoulders saying, "Good job, you ate so much!"
I think this goes along with our culture of constant praise, though. Michaeleen Doucleff talks a lot about this in her book, Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Healthy Little Humans. Why do we feel the need to constantly tell our kids they are doing a good job? Isn't that only teaching them to look for validation? It seems like feeding kids constant praise steals that little moment when they feel a natural sense of accomplishment within themselves. It trains them to look to an adult instead of themselves.
But I just don't get this, and I am of the opinion praising kids for eating is actually what makes them picky. That, and too many choices. Here's your food, kiddo, we're privileged enough we get to eat this. Let's be thankful and enjoy it, no?
I just don't understand congratulating kids on something that comes naturally. Aren't we sending them the message that what they just did was difficult? If we're hungry, we eat. So let them. We don't need to make a big deal when they eat vegetables. They should be eating vegetables. Their bodies want the nutrients. If we make a big deal out of it, doesn't that make them think, wait a minute, you mean I don't have to do this? If we feel the need to pipe in, why not just say, "It's good, isn't it?" or "I love broccoli!"
Can you imagine if we had people hovering over our own shoulders saying, "Good job, you ate so much!"
I think this goes along with our culture of constant praise, though. Michaeleen Doucleff talks a lot about this in her book, Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Healthy Little Humans. Why do we feel the need to constantly tell our kids they are doing a good job? Isn't that only teaching them to look for validation? It seems like feeding kids constant praise steals that little moment when they feel a natural sense of accomplishment within themselves. It trains them to look to an adult instead of themselves.
